


Prayer

by AsagiStilinski



Category: Yu-Gi-Oh! Duel Monsters (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Ancient Egyptian Deities, Angst with a Happy Ending, Arguing, Hurt, Insomnia, Kaiba Seto Has Issues, Kaiba Seto Needs a Hug, Light Angst, M/M, Nightmares, Prayer, Religion, Resurrection, Reunions, Variations on Ancient Egyptian Religion, Yami Yuugi | Atem has his own body, questionable decisions
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-07
Updated: 2019-04-07
Packaged: 2020-01-06 13:21:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,119
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18389264
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AsagiStilinski/pseuds/AsagiStilinski
Summary: Desperation will lead people to funny thingsFor Seto, it leads him from science, to faith





	Prayer

**Author's Note:**

> Another Sunday prompt- "Egyptian Gods"
> 
> The pharaohs were considered living gods in Egypt, so I decided to go there with this

_"Come back,"_

_"Kaiba... it's not that simple..."_

 

He couldn't sleep

He had suffered from insomnia for the majority of his life, in one form or another, never sleeping until his body ran out of steam and forced him to crash for a few hours, but this was different

This wasn't a mind-rushing, always-going, afraid-to-close-his-eyes insomniatic fit, this was ... _dragging_

He was so exhausted that his eyes were burning, his body was heavy, and his mind was completely unable to concentrate on anything

Yet he couldn't sleep

He finally forced himself up, sighing in exhaustion as he slowly swung his legs over the side of the bed and planted his feet on the floor, forcing himself up, pushing off of the mattress and dragging his feet as he made his way to the bathroom

He kept the lights off, knowing that turning them on would burn his eyes even worse, and reached into the medicine cabinet, feeling around for the headache relievers and sighing as he found the familiar bottle, yanking it down and opening it tiredly

How many of these things had he taken lately?

It felt like everytime he turned around he was either swallowing one or reaching for one, but his head wouldn't stop pounding...

He rubbed his face, sighing heavily and popping another of the little green-and-white tablets into his mouth, grabbing a cup of water and drinking the entire thing in a single gulp

He knew his lack of sleep was causing the headaches, but he just couldn't find a way to fix that

Everytime he closed his eyes, he pictured Atem's face, he remembered their conversation, he tried desperately to plan out the next time they would see eachother..

He swallowed hard, pinching the bridge of his nose and trying to get ahold of himself, biting his tongue, trying to get a damn grip before he lost it

Seto hadn't greived anyone since his parents died, and now, suddenly being thrust back into that pain....

He shook his head quickly, gritted his teeth, and slammed the bottle of pills down on the counter, striding out of the bathroom quickly and sliding on his slippers as he padded out of the bedroom

Sleep was a lost cause, he may as well work

 

_"You keep saying that, **Pharaoh** , but it seems that simple to me, you came when I needed you-"_

_"When the **world** needed me, Kaiba, there is a difference,"_

_"Yeah... one is important to you, and one isn't,"_

_"You know that isn't what I mean, this is a complicated matter, if I could just go back and forth from the afterlife as I pleased, then it wouldn't be called **death**!"_

 

He leaned back in his office chair, rubbing his eyes with the heels of his palms as he waited on the computer to finish booting up

What was he doing?

Why was he doing this?

Could he really be honest with himself and just.... admit it?

Could he say it, even to himself?

No, he couldn't

The screen brightness adjusted to his preferred setting, and he moved his hands away from his eyes, quickly logging in and tapping his fingers anxiously on the side of the desk

His stomach was churning, he couldn't decide if it was out of hunger or distress

His hands were shaking, he wasn't sure if it was out of anticipation or anxiety

His throat was tight, he didn't know if it was out of exhaustion or greif

He felt a stab of pain as his desktop background appeared, several pictures of Mokuba pasted together in a collage, it was.. choppy, the pictures had only started from when Mokuba was eight, after Seto took over the company, it felt almost wrong to have started there, excluding their previous years, but it was all he could do, the younger pictures of Mokuba- what few had existed- were lost with their parents' lives...

It was hard looking at the screen, knowing how much he had disappointed and hurt his brother lately in his relentless pursuit of the pharaoh, but the programs he had been working on last popped up over the screen before he could stress over it too much

_Sucessfull Instances Of Cloning_

_National Human Genome Research Institute_

_First success in cloning of human stem cells_

_Accelerated growth of human cells_

_Accelerated growth incubation chamber_

_Incubation chamber design sheet_

_SuccessChemicals.com: Shopping Cart_

_DNA Manipulation: Extracting Ancestral DNA From Modern Relatives_

_DNA Manipulation: Combining Cells From Multiple Sources_

_TAP: Atem's living relatives in Egypt_

_TAP: Yugi Muto's DNA profile_

_TAP: Merging the soul into the body_

_TAP: Risk Prevention Assessment_

_TAP: RPA: Emergency Stasis Protocol_

_TAP: RPA: ESP chamber design_

_TAP: RPA: Manual solutions to physical glitches_

_TAP: RPA: Manual solutions to mental/psyhchological glitches_

_TAP: RPA: Potential FSBD solution to mental/psychological glitches_

It was... alot

It was _alot_ , he knew that

Cloning Atem's body, forcing the clone to age up to an estimate of Atem's age at the time of death- his most recent death, not his first one- then forcing Atem's soul into that cloned body...

There was _so much_ that could go wrong, so many risks, so many ways that this could blow up in his face...

It was even more distastefull than Jurassic Park- not to mention more complicated

He wondered distantly if Atem would ever forgive him for this....

Sighing quietly to himself, he decided to start with finally narrowing down the feild to the most likely candidate for Atem's next of kin, he had it narrowed down to four applicants- ~~"applicants", he calls them, as if they're even aware of what he's doing~~ \- so now he just needed to figure out wich one was most likely to carry the most suitable DNA to matching Atem's

It was going to be a long night

 

_"Oh bullshit! You could leave if you wanted to, aren't you the **pharaoh**!? Don't you have the ability to do whatever you damn well please!?"_

_"No, I am still under the service of the gods-"_

_"But aren't you a god yourself!?"_

_"A MINOR god perhaps, but in the end, I still serve under more powerfull deities such as Horus, Ra-"_

_"So you're their bitch then?"_

_".... I am their servant, Kaiba, we all must serve our gods,"_

_"... I **have** no gods,"_

 

He was sore....

He was _so_ sore....

His back ached like hell, his neck was stiff, even his face hurt....

Slowly, he opened his eyes, forced himself to sit up, and realized with a bit of embarrassment that his body had finally given out and caused him to crash wile he was at his computer desk

Rubbing his eyes, he glanced at the clock and wrinkled his nose

Well, four hours was certainly better than nothing, it was the best he'd get these days for sure

"Wow, so.... trying to clone Atem and then bring his soul back into the new body huh? You know I'm pretty sure there's a Keanu Reeves movie with that exact plot? I mean, not a particularly _good_ Keanu Reeves movie, but it's out there,"

Startled, Seto spun around, his face paling as he stared at his brother's slightly judgemental expression

"Mokuba... you don't understand-"

"I understand plenty, you're trying to clone Atem and force his soul into the new body, didn't I just say that?"

"Mokuba..."

"All I'm saying is... watch 'Replicas', it'll show you how bad of an idea this is, actually... ya' know what? No, don't do that, the ending's pretty good,"

"I'm not going to let him go," Seto hissed

"I didn't say you had to, I'm just saying that this isn't the answer,"

"Then what _is_!? Please don't say 'magic', you've been spending too much time with the dweebs,"

"No, not magic, if Buffy has taught us anything it's that that'll suck too,"

"So your references for opinions on the subject of bringing someone back from the dead are an obscure Keanu Reeves movie and a show from the 90s that includes robots, zombies, and giant snake monsters?"

"Um, no, my references are a not-really-obscure-but-not-all-that-great Keanu Reeves movie and one of the greatest shows to ever exist, you should have more respect for Buffy Seto, as a bisexual it's your responsibility,"

"I'll keep that in mind if I ever need to defend my Bisexuality Punch Card," Seto spat in irritation, glancing at his computer screen and atleast breathing a sigh of releif that none of his work had been touched since he passed out

Small miracles.....

"I'm just saying.... be carefull, ok? Maybe there are other ways than _forcing_ him to come back,"

"Well if you think of one let me know, until then, I'm going on with The Atem Project as it is, everything will be fine Mokuba, I promise,"

His brother looked entirely unsure of that- hell he looked entirely _against_ it

"For your sake, and the sake of the world, I hope you're right, gods know I don't want to see what your Dark Willow looks like,"

He snorted, eyes rolling as he glanced at the clock- 6:25, good, he had just over two hours before his first meeting, he could work a little longer before having to go upstairs and shower for work

"Willow's big mistake was letting the gods tell her what to do, she had all that power and you're really telling me she couldn't bring her girlfreind back? Fucking quitter,"

"So ... if you're Willow and Atem is Tara, does that mean you're in love with him?"

Seto glanced back up, an exhausted expression on his face

"The metaphor was cute wile it lasted Mokuba, but it's time to let it die now,"

"That's not the only thing it's time to let die," Mokuba muttered back, turning on his heel and hurrying out of the office before Seto had time to respond

The CEO bit his lip- hard, hard enough that it may just bleed- before glancing back at his computer screen

He had time to finish writing out the manual protocol for nerve damage, he'd do that until he had to leave

_Fucking quitter..._

He wasn't the quitter in this relationship

Atem was

 

_"Fine, let yourself believe that, but **I do** , and I cannot and will not betray my faith! I have spent my entire life serving the gods and I am not about to quit now!"_

_"Exactly!! You've spent your entire fucking life serving those peices of shit and what do they do for you in return!? They kill you!"_

_"You are wrong!! The gods have granted me a **great** favor in return for my service, they have allowed me to pass into Aaru without journeying through Duat or having my heart weighed, you don't understand what a privilege that is!"_

_"So you're sucking up to them because they gave you a fucking **speed-pass**!? I expected more of you Atem,"_

_"It is not about speed! After everything I have done I DESERVE to see my loved ones again, to be with my loved ones, my family!! And moving on without having my heart weighed goes FAR beyond simple speed!"_

_"Isn't Yugi your family? Aren't those dweebs your loved ones? Or were you always lying about that? And if it isn't speed then what is it!? What could be so detrimental that you're giving up on life for it?!"_

_"You don't understand.... you could never understand!"_

_"Quitter," Seto finally hissed, his voice low and furious, but quiet all the same_

_"Fucking quitter..."_

 

He had promised Mokuba he would have a lunch break today, even if he didn't necessarily feel hungry

...

He just hadn't promised _where_ he would have it

He avoided going back to his office at Kaiba Corp, knowing Mokuba would check there, and instead went to his home office to work on The Atem Project

He was almost done designing the accelerated growth chamber, once he had that done, he could order the parts for it

He'd finish that during lunch and put a rush on the parts so he could have them in a couple of days

Granted, so far he had just finished the easy parts

He had only been working on this for a couple of months, since building the DDS really

He knew the worst of it was ahead of him, and honestly... he hated that

He wished it was different

But he couldn't reason with himself to do anything else, he had to have Atem back and this was the only scientific solution he could think of

He stepped into his office, hurriedly set down his coffee and sandwich on the desk, and turned to his computer

There was a note on the screen, one that thoroughly irritated the CEO

_Don't Pet Semmetary this!_

Snatching it and glaring at Mokuba's obvious hand-writing, he crumpled it up and immediately tossed it away, practically seething now

What did Mokuba think of him!?

He wasn't going to "Pet Semmetary" this!!

He couldn't even imagine what an evil Atem would look like, it ... just didn't line up with his mind's eye

Atem was all goodness and kindness and pureness of heart, he was too noble, too loyal, too rightous....

But ... none of that could be _evil_

Atem was all of the good things that Seto wasn't, of that much, he was certain

 

_"I don't want my heart weighed!"_

_The screamed confession caused Seto to go quiet a moment, confusion in his expression, especially at the clearly hurt look on Atem's face as the pharaoh hung his head and slowly brought his hands to his chest_

_"I... have done things... terrible things... that I am not proud of... and my heart is not lighter than a feather, I don't want to be damned Seto... but more than that, I just don't want to see the proof that my heart is as heavy as I believe it is,"_

_For the longest moment, Seto was quiet, mostly out of confusion, partly out of just.... trying to think of what to say_

_"Your heart isn't heavy," he finally said, taking a step closer to the throne_

_"Your heart is the lightest I've ever seen,"_

_"You don't know that-"_

_"Yes I do! Dammit Atem!! Where does all of this self-doubt come from!? The pharaoh that I know is confident and knows himself, even when you couldn't remember who you were, you ALWAYS knew who you ARE, where is that man now!?"_

_"You don't know what those scales will say! I don't want to risk it, I don't want to see it, and besides, you're forgetting that this is only ONE of many reasons why I cannot come with you, even if I were not afraid, that would not solve all of the problems!"_

_"Then start naming the others so I can fix them!"_

_"You cannot fix what is not broken, Kaiba,"_

 

When Seto woke the next morning, he woke screaming

He should have known it was too good to have been true, that he would really get some decent fucking sleep for once...

He had fallen asleep easily, so it made sense that nightmares would force him awake in the middle of the night

He had dreamed of Atem

He had dreamed of Atem in one of the chambers he designed, eyes open, clawing at the glass, trying to get out, drowning, _suffering_

He had dreamed of Atem's body falling apart, of his soul being trapped in a body that wasn't suitable for him, that he was slowly decaying from the inside out

He had dreamed of Atem being driven insane by his decaying flesh and mutilating himself, coming after Seto half-gone, not to kill him, but to beg for answers, why had Seto had done this to him? Why had he condemned him this way? Why had he _damned_ him?

Just thinking about it made the CEO want to puke

He felt unusually cold- not that he wasn't _always_ cold to some degree but this was just.... different somehow

He felt like there was screaming in his head and for once he wasn't looking forward to going downstairs to work on his project

He dragged his feet the entire way to the office, stopping off by the thermostat to turn the heat up, even though it was early summer and he shouldn't even be _using_ the heat, and sank down into his office chair

He found himself soon staring at the familiar documents on his screen, and slowly tracing his finger over the touchpad, pulling up a new tab and staring at the blank Google search box for a short moment, his fingers twitching with hesitation as he reluctantly pressed them onto the keyboard

_cloning failures_

Seto wasn't stupid

It wasn't like he had never considered the risks, or that he had ever been stupid enough to not have a data bank in the back of his head filled with every single thing that had ever gone wrong, and dedicated a good portion of his time to figuring out how to prevent and cure those failures, should they happen, but....

But the failures had always been so detached to him

He had never cared about them the way he cared about the successes

He had never processed just how much Atem might be suffering if he got this wrong, even if he knew how to fix something, theoretically, he would have to be a cruel bastard to put Atem through that kind of suffering in the first place

And the chances of a fully successfull cloning with no problems or defects at all? Ten percent- and that was being _generous_

It only took a few moments of seeing those pictures before he lost whatever appetite he may have had and had the incredible urge to call off any food related plans for the next three years

He nearly slammed the laptop shut in disgust and dismay

He managed to resist that much, however, and instead just closed the tab, leaning back and staring blankly at his computer for a moment

No, he really... really couldn't do this to Atem....

He would have to find another way

He couldn't risk it

He couldn't put Atem through that, he couldn't be that cruel, he would just have to find another way

Still....

He couldn't bring himself to delete anything just yet...

Instead, he pulled up another new tab, and typed out something else

_the urn of osiris_

Hn...

Buffyverse wiki... Etsy... Entertainment Earth....

What was he thinking?

This was stupid! He was acting like something he saw in an old vampire show was not only real, but that he had any hope in hell of actually finding the damn thing and... what? Performing a spell on it or some shit?

He was going crazy, he just knew it...

He pinched his nose, sighing loudly as he hung his head and rubbed his tired eyes

What was he doing...?

What was he doing?

 

_"What are you doing?! You cannot merely **drag** me back! Even if you could- wich you cannot, as I've already explained- that is extremely rude!!"_

_It was worth a try, but Atem was surrounded by guards and even if Seto **could** muscle his way past them, he knew that he shouldn't..._

_If he was going to bring Atem back against his will, he would have to have a much better, more stable plan in mind than ... whatever this was_

_However, that didn't mean the entire trip was wasted_

_"Tell me... if you **could** come back, no strings attached, would you?"_

_"Back to the living world, you mean? I ... I would like to see everyone again, you and Yugi and the others... perhaps I would like to stay there for a time- even a lifetime- but ... that isn't my place, my place is **here** ,"_

_"This shit again..."_

_"Seto, I know you don't understand this but I need to be here in case I'm needed, I know that... no one will pray to me, I acquired no worshipers in my life because of- .. obvious reasons, and our faith has been somewhat ... what do you call it? 'picked clean' or something along those lines? What very few worshipers we have only know about the primary gods, but... part of me cannot help wanting to believe that someday, someone will pray to me, and I need to be available when that happens, again this is only one reason, I am still obliged to the other, bigger gods, but-"_

_"You're speaking gibberish now Pharaoh, I don't understand any of this,"_

_"Ofcourse not," Atem huffed, shaking his head slowly_

_"Because you are no man of faith, how could you understand? You insist not only on refusing to worship any gods, but on even believing in them, how could you understand the fate of a god if you have no faith yourself?"_

 

Right...

Atem had talked so much about prayer and faith and all of that other garbage, he had always spouted off so much religious shit, it made Seto's head spin

 _"Your gods,"_ Seto had scoffed once

_"And are your gods the only gods?"_

_"No ofcourse not, they're just the ones I pray to, so they are the ones I serve, and the ones I am granted gifts by, and the ones who provide me with a life after death, but they are still only a small few of the amount of gods out there, be they Odin or Zeus, Alah or Christ, Buddha or Ra... all gods have their believers and it is that belief that determines where someone's afterlife will take place, what gods will aid them, and protect them, I cannot judge you for not sharing my gods Kaiba, especially considering how ...... rare.... it is to hear of them in your present time,"_

_"No, you just judge me for not believing in any gods at all, is that right?"_

_"No, I do not **judge** you for anything, I only wish.... that you could believe in ... **something** , so that you could understand my perspective on why I cannot return to you, and so that your afterlife could be a happy one, not one filled with emptiness,"_

Seto had scoffed, and still, the idea of believing in the Egyptian gods was .... _distastefull_... to say the least, but...

But he remembered what Atem had said about prayers, about how he wished someone would pray to him, about how he intended to _answer_ those prayers....

So, slowly, with exhaustion and desperation rushing through his veins, his hands trembling and his eyes barely able to stay open from strain, he placed his hands in front of him, threading his fingers together until his fists were joined, and his elbows were resting on the desk in a pleading gesture

Staring down at his hands one more time, he reluctantly closed his eyes, took a deep breath, and started to pray

"Atem... Atem....."

_'Please Atem... come back... come back to life... come back to **me**...'_

He felt stupid, he felt like an idiot, believing that somehow Atem would be able to read his thoughts from.... wherever the hell he was, and that he would even care enough to answer them even if he did

And yet....

He believed

Some part of him believed

_'Please Atem.... please....'_

He was so tired... he was so exhausted and yet....

_'Please....'_

Suddenly there was a nock on his office door

Assuming it to be Mokuba or Isono, as the only people who ever bothered him down here, he grumbled something under his breath and forced himself out of his chair, stumbled across the room to the door and swung it open to blast either of them about not disturbing his lunch, but when he swung the door open, his breath caught, and the words got stuck in his throat

There was Atem, as clear as day, standing in front of him

Seto didn't ask any questions

He didn't need or even want to know the answers at this point

All he did, all he _could_ do, was rush forward, cupping Atem's face in his hands, marveling at the feeling of soft, warm skin beneath his fingers, and kiss him

Slowly, deeply, he kissed him

They indulged, and Seto sank into the fact that Atem was there

There in physical form, no fire surrounding him, no spiritual energy, just... Atem....

"What convinced you?" he finally asked as he pulled away, his arms still locked around the pharaoh in a messy tangle of promises, refusing to let go this time, come hell or high water

"Nothing convinced me," Atem replied softly, pulling back just enough, his expression warm and loving and honestly... happy... as he stared up into Seto's eyes

"I'm just answering a prayer,"

 

 

This amazing peice was done by the glorious Sam Pristine, thank you so much sweetie!!!!

**Author's Note:**

> One of these days I'm going to write a fic that fully explores how I think the afterlife and gods work in YGO, but this is a small glimpse of it, a couple of disclaimers, I guess:
> 
> 1\. Atem would have easily passed through having his heart weighed if he had been subjected to it, he just doesn't believe he would
> 
> 2\. As Seto- in an admittedly somewhat twisted way- now believes in Egyptian gods (even if, literally, the only god he believes in, prays to, and worships is Atem) Aaru is the afterlife he'll go to when he dies, so he'll be with Atem eternally
> 
> 3\. Technically pharaohs _can_ sort of come and go from the afterlife as they please but because of the circumstances of Atem's life and death, he personally is afraid to do so unless it's a case of absolute emergency, as he fears he doesn't have the same privileges other pharaohs have had in the past and will thereby end up getting stuck in Duat (or even getting stuck as a ghost again) if he tries to come and go one too many times
> 
> 4\. By using the excuse of "answering a prayer", Atem feels that he has permission from the other gods to tend to his follower, as Atem is now a minor god himself, and the duty of gods is to take care of their believers, he may or may not have actually had this discussion with others in the afterlife before to make him feel this beleif is supported
> 
> 5\. Atem will be able to return to the afterlife just as he did before, given that he wasn't "reborn", he's only living this life temporarily (for as long as Seto is alive) to fullfill his prayer; he's still part of Aaru, in a way, so he wouldn't have to journey to Aaru anew- atleast, this is how Atem reconciles it, I think in YGO, religion has to do almost entirely with beleif, your personal beleifs influence your religious experiences (wich would explain alot of the holes in the religious stories in YGO) so if Atem _believes_ he can go back to Aaru without passing through Duat, he can, if he doesn't, he can't, incidentally this is also going to allow Seto to move on to Aaru without any fan fare himself, as he doesn't believe in things like Duat, heart weighing, or even burial ceremonies, he only believes in Atem and the afterlife he witnessed when visiting him, so that's where he'll end up, when that happens, Atem is going to have a big "what the fuck how did you do that???" moment and it's going to be hilarious
> 
>  
> 
> A few other notes:
> 
> -"Replicas" was an ok movie, I have nothing against it, I just thought it was something the Kaiba brothers would snicker about because Seto literally is fucking around with cloning and it's probably nothing like how it was in the movie
> 
> -Mokuba would love to have Atem back too, but he's seen enough "back from the dead" media to know how this ends and doesn't want to see Seto suffer any more than he already is- above all else
> 
> -TAP stands for The Atem Project; RPA stands for Risk Prevention Assessment


End file.
